All Things to Two People

Of all the things I've been to my kids,
grammarian
engineer
coat rack
guru
chauffeur
triage nurse
art critic
math teacher
botanist
wallet
shaman
gardener
accountant
gossip columnist
trail guide
astronomer
urinal
theologian
handyman
arbitrator
music teacher
physicist
jungle gym
Santa Claus
pack mule
judge
marketer
drill sergeant
chemist
speed bump
Easter Bunny
painter
police officer
video producer
tour guide
biologist
crash mat
carpenter
advocate
photographer
maid
hairstylist
news anchor
and
nail technician,

I think I like pillow the best.